P is for Penis, B is for Bagina

 “Does anything ever happen at school that makes you sad?” Tasha asked.  Tasha is M.’s therapist. She specializes in working with trans kids like mine.  Yesterday was our first appointment. M. shook her head.  She was making us breakfast out of play dough. Tasha’s office has an impressive toy collection.  “I’m making pancakes,” M. said.…

I need help

I really do.  That’s why my young trans daughter is going to start therapy tomorrow morning.  The therapist specializes in working with LGBT youth and has been recommended highly by other parents in my support group.  For the most part, my kiddo is doing remarkably well:  M. is as happy, confident, energetic, and demanding as…

What happens when trans kids grow up?

A few months ago, I got an email at work from Peter, one of the software developers my company had hired to design our smart phone app.  This is what it said: Since we last talked, I am about half a year into a gender transition and am now living full-time as a woman. Please…

Kindergarten Countdown

Seven weeks from today, I’ll experience one of those big, proud, bittersweet milestones of parenthood:  I’ll pack my kid a lunch, help her pick out a special outfit to wear, and cry a little as I drop her off for her first day of kindergarten. When I was a kid, every year in late August,…

How old is gender?

When did you first know what gender you were?  Chances are, by age four or five, you were firmly and comfortably established, for life, as a boy or girl.  I know I was.  But it’s not like that for everyone. My recent post on the Bitch magazine blog got a fair number of responses, among…

The Vagina Dialogues

She sees the box of tampons in the bathroom and pulls one out to take a look. “What are these for, Mama?” I choose my words carefully.  “They’re for people with vaginas,” I say.  In my house we don’t assume that all people with vaginas are girls, nor that all those with penises are boys.…