Today the Advocate published an op-ed I wrote. You can read it here. It expresses feelings I’ve wanted to write about for some time, ever since I learned that my young child was transgender and I began encountering older trans women whose experience has generally been vastly different from hers.
I know this is a tricky topic. This is clear from some of the comments on the Advocate website in response to my op-ed. These comments point out that our society’s narrow standards of beauty – both for transgender women and nontransgender women – are cruelly narrow and do harm to us all. I couldn’t agree more. They also point out the complicated politics of “passing” and the potential for a divide between those who, like my daughter, will likely “pass,” versus those who are perceived by others as transgender.
I know my daughter is luckier than many trans women from earlier generations. But I don’t think she is luckier because she may “pass” as a nontransgender woman. I think she is lucky because she does not have to hide who she is. I think she is lucky because she will get to choose how she lives in the world. Whatever choices she makes, she will be beautiful. Just like her transgender elders. Just like you.
With love and gratitude,