Second grader in charge.

in-chargeShe put on leggings this morning.  I suggested a dress to go over them.

“No, I want to wear a shirt.”

The leggings were tight.  The shirt wasn’t long.  Things would be showing. I had to tell her.

Deep breath, then, totally casual, like I’m asking her if she wants a banana or yoghurt for her snack:  “So, those leggings are pretty tight, babe. You may not have much privacy.  Want to wear a dress instead?”



“No one notices, Mama,” she said, cool as a cucumber, waving her hand in front of her crotch. “They don’t notice this.”

“And what would you do if they did?”

“I’d say, ‘None of your business.’  And if they say that I’m being rude, I’ll say, ‘My mama said I could say that.’ And then I’ll walk away.”

Wow. Take that, world.

30 thoughts on “Second grader in charge.

  1. Fantastic!!! My daughter wears a cute skirt over her leggings or a long tee to cover the private area in an attempt to be discreet and avoid questions. She does this because I suggested it in an attempt to lesson her chance of others finding out that she is transgender. Kids are much braver than we are. You are doing a wonderful job with “M” for her to be so confident.

  2. Good for you, M! You’re right – your private parts are PRIVATE!
    I bet she’s right about other kids not noticing. I never remember seeing or thinking about anyone’s genitals (barely my own!) at her age. I (obviously) was used to seeing my friends and peers at school fully clothed, so I never thought deeper than that. No need.

  3. Wow!! Love it!! Way to be empowered and to be in control of how she allows others to make her feel. She has my complete admiration!!

  4. I just heard your segment on the podcast, Here Be Monsters, and I was so impressed I had to come over and tell you what a great mother you are. You are raising a daughter who will be one amazing woman. I can only hope there comes a day when the need for qualifiers like “transgender” is no longer necessary. I have no doubt that your daughter, and others in her generation who are raised with the same compassion, will work to make that happen. Best wishes to you both.

  5. I’m so impressed with parents like you! It takes such courage to pay such close attention to our children, and then to assist with crossing over with transgender kids takes even more! What a great leap from the “children should be seen and not heard” status quo!

  6. God bless you and your precious daughter. As a 56yr old trans woman, 31/2 years into her transition, your stories have a tremendously uplifting effect on my spirit. I can only wish that my parents and their generation had been as accepting as you. I might not be dealing with so much baggage if they had been. Lots of love and encouragement to both of you. xx

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