Slate magazine just published an essay I wrote.
The editor asked me to answer this question: “What’s the one thing you want America to know?”
Related posts
How to Be a Dad
New podcast episode: To tell or not to tell?
Slate magazine just published an essay I wrote.
The editor asked me to answer this question: “What’s the one thing you want America to know?”
gendermom 
I’m a children’s counselor, and I have a child client who is transitioning… Just wanted to let you know that I referred my client’s parents to your blog for all the wonderful advice, support, and information! Thanks for doing what you do 🙂
I loved this Marlo. Somehow it made me just calm down a little about our own trans kid. Thankyou for all that you do :-). Stronger than usual warning to you and everyone else about the comments section though (I know, I know, I shouldn’t have looked). I feel quite disappointed in Slate readers – the level of evident thought and empathy is alarmingly low.
Thank you so much for loving your daughter and giving her full freedom to be herself. Thank you for trusting she knows who she is. Thank you for sharing your experience with the world. The world needs excellent parents like you. Thank you for being that shining example of a parent. I know it must have been hard at times, but I think you have handled this with love and giving space for life, for your daughter to be who she was meant to be. I am always so grateful to parents out there who support their 2-spirited children. Our whole community thanks you for raising a healthy daughter. Blessings to you and your family.
Very nice article. Don’t read the comments though! People can be ignorant and mean.
That picture is gorgeous!! I also love that your daughter draws people with hair and not faces!! It doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside, only matters what is on the inside. She is so strong for someone so small. So inspirational!
As are YOU! I read the article on slate. The commenters made me sick! I know people are entitled to their opinions but why people feel the need to have to voice their negativity and try to bring you down drives me insane!!
It is something I seriously struggle with in my own personal life–why people feel the need to comment on my body weight and image. Does it really matter? No! [Of course it gets to me but I am always trying to challenge your daughter].
Let the haters hate. I am sorry you are exposed to that ignorance and intolerance!
Thank you! I’m a 20 year old transgender male and I’d love to have a mom like you!
I can’t help feeling happy and sad and wistful to see your picture of M on the pebbly beach.
I’ve probably said this so many times people are sick of it, but:
I can’t express how wonderful it is to see parents who actually _listen_ to their children and hear what they say and who they are and don’t chop or stretch or mangle their souls to fit the Procrustean beds of what society expects them to be. Every time I see it, I want to cry in sadness for all the children of past generations who got broken because they didn’t fit, but also in joy for the children of today who have a chance to grow up whole. (Unfortunately, still a minority.)
Whenever I see trans children who are simply allowed to be who they are and be loved for who they are, I feel like they are the best argument against all the Zuckers and McHughs and other people who claim that by allowing them to be you’re doing some kind of irrepairable harm. You might as well claim you’re doing irrepairable harm to your rosebush by not driving a truck over it several times a day.
I sometimes wonder whether, if I had grown up in a world where I could have been who I was and the option of me being a girl had been conceivable, and also the option of being a boy who wasn’t like the other boys as well, I would have grown up happy to be a boy in my own way or would have concluded I was really a girl (and no doubt been a girl in my own way, too.) Unfortunately, neither option was available at the time.
Great article … ‘cos that’s what mum’s do. 🙂
“You might as well claim you’re doing irrepairable harm to your rosebush by not driving a truck over it several times a day.” This. Thanks AMM.
A friend and coworker saw your article and thought of us. If we switched the pronouns you use, it would be our story. I’d even forgotten that at one time, my child asked me to put him back in the tummy. He didn’t say it was because he mistakenly came out a girl, but now I am sure that was exactly the reason. He spent his K-2 grades with the same kids knowing him as a girl, and then in 3rd grade he came back a boy. Most everyone accepts him and us, but there are a few who do not. I no longer have time in my life for those people. My favorite part of your video was the explanation of private parts. I was relieved to hear “I’m a girl with a penis and she’s a girl with a vagina!” For some reason, it just made sense. I’m a girl with green eyes, my sister is a girl with brown eyes. Big deal! We’re all different in some way.
Signed,
My son is a boy with a vagina.
You are so brave.As mom this is a blessing
Hi Gendermom i know as a trans male myself that ur child ismost probably appreciating that u are allowing them to be themselves.
Gender mom, I have great news from Brazil!
For the first time in the country, the goverment recognized the change of name of a transgender child. She has 9 years old.
Plus: her father is retired sargent from the army. I will translate a piece: “The father, Antônio, a retired sargent from the army, was thriled with emotion. ‘It was 3 years of battles in the Justice. Every now and then I went to the forum looking for an answer and the papers where just sitting in the judge desk, for a decision’.” It was after her story was told in a magazine, among other transgenders cases, that it all changed.
How does the legal change of name works in U. S.? Are you planning to officialy change M’s name?
Thank you so much for sharing these great articles.
As always, Gendermom, you’re just simply amazing in the breadth and scope of your love and understanding of M. No one can ever know now how things will turn out for M, but you can rest assured now that at least you’ve given her the best head start possible. This, from someone who truly knows. As always, Gendermom, I so appreciate your willingness and honesty in sharing your journeys.
Hi, Marlo, I came across your podcast today and then your blog and wanted to reach out and say thank you. Thank you so very much for being such an amazing parent and role model for your daughter. Thank you for showing her that regardless of any challenge she can chase her dreams. I am also filled with joy that she will never have to endure the hardships growing up that women like myself have endured. I would invite you to read my story, of what it’s like to not have loving parents and a mother who will fight for them.
https://michelles1968.wordpress.com/2016/01/25/my-life-a-brief-history/
Thank you again and I wish your daughter all the joy and happiness that life can bring.
Beautifully written. Thank you. I’ll be sharing that article.