New Podcast Episode: School

The ninth episode of my podcast, “How to Be a Girl,” has been six months in the making, because that’s how long it took for this story to play out.

It’s the story of my daughter entering second grade at a new school where we knew pretty much no one, almost no one knew her secret, and I had no idea how I was going to keep her safe.  You can listen here.


8 thoughts on “New Podcast Episode: School

  1. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. The really sad part is all due to people’s perception of what it means to be trans. The assumption that reason we go into a restroom that matches our gender identity to attack someone or some other nefarious reason. Not that we just want to go to the bathroom like everybody else. People pushing their agenda of not accepting us and using fear rto not grant us equality!! I hope everything goes well for your daughter. It is just sad that she has to worry about somebody finding out who she is and using that information to harm her.

    • I applaud you and other trans people who speak up to help parents who are new to this transition and want desperately to do it right- world be damned. Everyone one of you are on a heroes journey. I bow to you in awe!

      Peace be your journey.

  2. Before I even listened to this episode, I knew I had lived this story. We have, for the moment, gotten to the other side of it, but as long as we are living, this fear will stay with me, to one degree or another.

  3. GenderMom,

    Your fears are ours. Please know other trans mom’s start their day by cocooning each trans child, no matter their age. One thing we are not is alone!!!

    My FtM son is 21 years old and we’re just starting this journey with him as of 6ish weeks ago. My heart breaks for the years he suffered alone. We knew he was severely depressed by age 4 but with years of counseling and meds nothing eased the pain. Now we know why. I would give my life if he could’ve been diagnosed at ANY age before puberty so that he didn’t live through hell and could’ve been on puberty blockers etc. You and other young moms are SO very blessed to have this happen early. Bless those who come out only years before they die! I am glad my son has many beautiful years ahead. What a beautiful difference we see in him already!!!

    Though open minded parents we never thought about him having G.D. And though we allowed him to dress & play as he wished. (except one funeral we demanded a dress be worn.) he sadly never spoke up. Bless you all for seeing the signs early and helping the journey go a bit smoother.

    I have had a hard time finding blogs for moms of twenty somethings. One I read broke my heart because blogger was answer literally years later. Do you think I could help other moms by starting a blog/group for those of us with older children?

    My thoughts of thankfulness and love go out to you tonight. What a difference your making for young moms everywhere. Please give your hero a thumbs up from me!! So very proud of these brave little ones. We’ll change the world for them!!

  4. If anyone can recommend good books for extended family please let me know. I’ve ordered the typical books, especially helpful is the Trans Guide which everyone probably has. However, I found a bit dated book “…Mom, I need to be a girl” by Just Evelyn who is a single mom of 3. She goes through emotions and even hoelw she got her MTF daughter in to an alternative school and even forging some records to protect her.
    Last night I watched the VERY dated movie “The Christine Jourganson Movie” but I found it amazingly inspirational!!

    My love to all!

  5. Having just returned from a comic & sci-fi con and calling doctors I feel renewed! I wore an “ally of transgender” pin at the con, which we attend yearly & so many people approached me! All were uplifting and amazing but one. A teenager who’s simply hoping to survive until 18 to transition because mom will freak. It breaks my heart. She comes into my mind daily and I hate I didn’t give her my number. My ftm adult child passed for the first time while there when he dropped his badge and hotel staff called out “Sir! You’ve dropped something!” That was a huge moment for him & as parents we were thrilled to be able to witness it. PWe found out about more online groups and which cons the trans community enjoy attending. It was so uplifting! A once a year shot in the heart of being fully excepted will serve my child well! (And us too!)

    On to doctors! I really thought being in the Bible Belt finding a doctor for hormone treatment would be tough! The first 5 doctors I called from my list would accept my son for T therapy but not my insurance! I was so excited that EVERY doctor UNDERSTOOD that this is a MEDICAL issue and is prepared to treat our children! The 6th doctor accepted both insurance and trans patients. His office is making us jump through hoops but they assure me it’s with every patient due to his specialty.

    We’re ready to talk to family now that our son has his “letter”. I’m making a folder for each set of grandparents with the letter and good transgender info in it. We’ve only told 1 sibling, mine. She cried from joy. Hearing how my always depressed son now glows & reconnected with their sibling has been a true healing in our family. Anyone who can’t see this and at least appreciate it can turn their back if they must. We will always be there to welcome them back into our lives once they learn & accept our son’s true self. But for now this is ALL about my child. Not me, not his dad, and not anyone else. Just him. He has suffered in silence for 21 years and it’s time for that to end!

    As for being scared and wishing to protect him I too have cried & annoynced to myself “the world isn’t ready yet!” But after getting it all out of us we have enrolled both our son and his boyfriend in krav maga. It doesn’t matter your size so it’s great for everyone! I understand the very real fear before each of us, especially for those who are transitioning to female. If we give our kids the tools they need they’ll be careful but not fearful. Isn’t that the best life anyone can hope for!

    My thoughts to everyone here who’s on a journey with their hero! Stay strong in your love and support and the rewards will be a cf hild who smiles once again!

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