pants2

Pants!

I apologize for the long stretch between posts. All is well with me and the amazing young M., but we’ve had a bit of a rough patch: Broken sewer line, overflowing toilet, toys floating around M.’s bedroom… you get the picture.  Happy to report that no beloved toys were lost to the Great Toilet Flood of…

grapehyacinth-2

Time for flowers

We buried my grandmother this weekend.  Hundreds of people stuffed the pews at the church she helped found decades ago when she and my grandfather started their life together in the small community where I was lucky enough to grow up. In the parish hall after the service, M. ran around in her sparkly new…

Empty fall peaks.

The real reason I’m OK

My grandmother is dying.  Dad just called to say she didn’t really know him this morning.  She’s lying in bed at the nursing home, and the drugs are making her sleep all the time. We’re in this awful purgatory – not yet able to start grieving but knowing we will be doing a lot of…

Inner Tube in Swimming Pool

Weird or a Boy

I took M. to the local indoor swimming pool over the long weekend.  We went into a private “family changing room” to get our suits on. M. shut the door firmly behind us and said:  “I don’t want anyone to know I have a penis.” “Why?” I asked. “Because I don’t want them to think I’m…

self-portrait - age 3

Letter to my loved ones

Two years ago today, I sent the letter below to my extended family and closest friends.  M. had just turned four, and had been trying to tell me for months that she wasn’t the kid I thought she was.  Reading this letter now, I’m struck by how frightened I was and how hard I was…